The Work Could Literally Kill Me

At least I've managed to avoid the dangerous, deadly jobs like:

* coal miner
* Green Beret
* tyrannical leader on the eve of a coup
* deli counter
* child care worker
* anything retail
* bullet quality assurance tester

Instead I push massive amounts of paper around my desk from the wee hours of the morning (11am) until late, late at night (6pm, hmm sometimes 4pm). The paper starts in pretty, colourful files on the left side of my laptop. Then I cautiously move one or two to the right of the laptop. If the paper is sharp, I'll slice a sheet across the tops of my fingertips until I cry. That sheet will get tossed into the shredder. Once I've dealt with the information on the paper lacking a killer instinct, it'll be returned to the file. That file with the completed work... is SPECIAL!

I dance like a paper cut injured loon around the room with the completed work. It's so rare! So done! My professional career is made whole!

Then I have a cup of tea (PG Tips, 3 sugars, stirred counter-clockwise). Maybe I'll look at cat videos.

After my recuperative break, it's back to the files on the left side of the laptop. Repeat the papercuts, the completions, the dancing, the tea, the cat video watching.

Finally, all the files are located on the right of the laptop and this signals the end of my professional work day.

Phew! Exhausting!

(Warning: I is plumper than this but I don't like to brag. Oh plumpity plumpness!)